I recently reread this book by Dr. David Schwartz called the “The Magic of Thinking Big”, and found this 5-step method to building confidence. I thought I should share it with you guys over here. This book changed my mindset about life 5 years ago and now it’s still helping me to grow and learn, a true reading gem. I didn’t think that I’d be who I am today if I didn’t get enlightened by this book when I finished high school in year 2003, it’s a great book on how to think big, and take actions on the success ideas. If you don’t read any other books that’s fine, but grab this one!

OK, so here comes the 5-step method to building confidence that you can start doing right away. If you want to think confidently, act confidently. Confident actions will lead to confident thinking, and so you have to act the way you want to feel. Practice them and build your confidence like there’s no tomorrow! I’m breaking down according to the level of difficulty in my humble opinion, it could be different for you so adjust accordingly:

1) Walk 25% faster

This one is easy. Just walk at least 25% faster and you’ll have more confidence in yourself. How? Psychologists say that you can change your attitudes by changing your posture and speed of movement. Intuitively, when you see someone dragging their feet walking to work on the street, you’d think they have a miserable life, or to say the least they hate their job. However, when you see someone sprinting through the crowd, you’d naturally think that the person’s got someplace important to go, something important to do. They’re proud of themselves and the things they do, and they want to succeed in the shortest period of time.

As Dr. Schwartz suggested, next time you walk out the door, throw your shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead just a little faster, and feel your self-confidence grow!

2) Smile big

Do this -> Smile BIG at this moment. Can you feel bad and smile big at the same time? No! A big smile kills all the negative emotions and fears in yourself and help you to relax and be more friendly. It’s the best way to win more friends. It’s the best way to make yourself happy again. Heck it’s even the best way to banish your fears!

Remember though, to smile BIG, really BIG. Smile until your teeth show. You don’t have to show everyone your gum but smile in a way that make you look friendly and confident. It’ll make your day.

3) Make eye contact

Eye contact is probably one of the most important things in communication. If someone doesn’t look you in the eye and look at everything in the room but you, you’d think, “What’s he got to hide? He’s probably afraid.” When you fail to make eye contacts, you tell the whole world that you feel inferior, you feel afraid. Or maybe you feel guilty, you’ve done something wrong to the person you’re talking to. That’s why when you say “I love you” you should look the other person in the eye!

If you can look the other person in the eye comfortably, it sends a positive message: “I’m honest and I’m confident. I have nothing to hide and you can believe what I have to tell you.” So, when you go to work tomorrow, look your boss in the eyes when you talk. It will give you confidence, and win your confidence!

4) Be a front-seater

This is a good one. Most people could probably relate to this. Notice in meetings, any kinds of meetings, the crowd tends to fill up the back seats first? You’d see few people taking the front seats because it’s “too conspicuous”, according to Dr. Schwartz. It builds confidence. Students tend to avoid the front rows because they think they’d get picked by the professor, that’s because they’re not prepared for the class! If you’re prepared and confident, why not get picked and practice speaking up (which is the next thing I’m gonna talk about)?

Yeah, you’d be noticed, but why not? After all, you have nothing to hide and there’s nothing wrong with showing the world that you want to succeed.

5) Speak up

This probably doesn’t come naturally to most people. There are many people who have great knowledge and ideas that fail to speak up in a discussion. It’s simply because they lack the confidence to make their voice heard. They’re thinking,” I don’t want to say something that might make me look stupid. If I keep quiet, they won’t think highly of me, but at least they won’t think that I’m ignorant.” This is a negative thinking and the effect compounds as time goes. Each time a person fails to speak up, the harder it’ll be for the person to speak up the next time. But it holds true for the opposite too. The more you speak up, the easier it’ll be for you to speak up the next time.

Don’t worry if the other person doesn’t agree with you, chances are someone else will. And even if nobody agrees, they’d appreciate your willingness to contribute to the discussion to make it more engaging. Few things you can do are commenting, making a suggestion, and asking a question. If you can master this, your confidence will skyrocket!

So, I’ve listed the 5 confidence-building exercises and I hope you find them useful. There are a lot more great ideas from “The Magic of Thinking Big” so be sure to grab a copy of it. Caveat: It’s good to KNOW these ideas, but if you don’t ACT on them, it’s useless knowledge. If you don’t think you can implement all 5 of them at the same time, start by walking 25% faster. It’s the easiest thing to do, especially if you’re in big cities like NYC (everybody walks fast anyway!). I’m practicing these 5 exercises myself, so let’s work hard together!

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