Imagine this: you were back into your childhood 15 years ago (or whatever years it’ll take), you broke a very expensive wine glass of your father. The fear of getting punished by your dad just overwhelmed you to the extent that you were looking down when you walked and talked, twiddling your thumbs on your way to tell your mom (I’m sure you’d tell your mom first!). That fear, that fear of being scolded and caned just dominated your whole little brain (maybe not for the American readers, but I did get caned by my mom and teachers when I was young). Why were you so afraid? That’s because you did something wrong! It doesn’t matter if it was accidental, you broke the glass.

Coming back to reality, if you had cheated in your exam, wouldn’t you feel self-conscious and guilty especially when you see the professor? You’d be thinking, “Did he find out what I did? Did he notice that I was cheating? Oh man, I wish I didn’t do it!” So, how can you still be confident when you’re worried about being found out? Initially, your conscience told you that it’s wrong to do it, but if you don’t do it, you gonna fail the class! So, you tried to justify your actions, telling yourself it wouldn’t hurt if it’s just this time. The same thinking will haunt you wherever you go, and might develop to be a bad habit. Having grown up in Asian culture that’s not as strict on cheating as our American counterparts, I clearly understand the mindset from both cultures. I really admire the American culture that emphasizes honesty as a primary value in every person’s life, and it gives me the peace of mind when I’m dealing with people here.

If you’ve done anything against your conscience, the guilt will nibble away your confidence. You will think that you stand below everybody else because of your irresponsible actions. So, avoid doing anything that will haunt you down for the rest of your life. Each of us have a desire to be right, think right, and act right, according to Dr. David Schwartz. If we violate that desire, we will gradually lose our confidence.

Doing what’s right keeps your conscience intact and gives you the feeling that you can conquer the world and do what you love to do because there’s nothing to be afraid of. However, sometimes even though you know what you do is right, people will still criticize you. But no one on earth has done great things without criticism. Dr. Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, these great men have been greatly criticized during their campaigns, but still they went on. Why? Because they strongly believed that what they did was right. Big thinkers do what’s right and don’t sweat over small stuffs like criticism by small people. If you know what you’re doing is right, you don’t have to listen to anyone but yourself. Go for it!

Remember, do what’s right and you build confidence, do what’s wrong and you build fear. Well, I think this sweet and short post is the end of the confidence building series. Take the actions and you will be a confident individual! It takes practice and time, so take it slow.

Also, please share with us your stories and feedback below and help us to learn from each other! Till next time, think BIG!

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